Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize