i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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