Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize