About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
