Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i just wanna soil my oats bro
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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