He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
