please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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