you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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