Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
