my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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