do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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