12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
