Jerry, you need to find god
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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