How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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