pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize