Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Holy shit dude........stairs
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