Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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