RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize