I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
