Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
