you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
