It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
