My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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