i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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