Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
