was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
