i wish peter jackson would direct porn
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
