Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
