That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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