Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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