fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
