I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize