last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
