oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize