He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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