I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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