if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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