So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
