Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
