Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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