either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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