Nicole vs. Life
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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