your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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