Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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