hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
