This is not my ceiling
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I AM VODKA MAN
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
