I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
