For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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