her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
