i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
