9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
