i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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