New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
