Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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