I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
