We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I AM VODKA MAN
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
