Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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