Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
