I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize