Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
